1. “I’d let you drown in my pool anytime”

  2. “Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed…but a woman is always a woman.”

  3. EricLr

    Set phasers for Viagra.

  4. egg solo

    My lips to your lips, my hands to your boobs….

  5. I wonder what kind of price he was able to negotiate with her.

  6. CPT Mike

    I’m a (pocket) rocket…man

  7. Cock Dr

    You know I thought that Star Trek mind meld crap was just that, but look, she’s submitting quietly to his grasp with no apparent resistance.

  8. Pirate Hunter

    “Listen bitch, this is one thing the Negotiatior will NOT negotiate for.”

  9. Grand Poobah

    I think she just stirred up my dylithium crystals!

  10. MarkM

    “Kali Ma Shakti de,”

  11. CK


  12. Jack

    “Spock taught me this trick a few years back…in a few hours I’ll be eating sushi off your ass….”

  13. Only Soon-Yi and Woody Allen understand why that kiss feels so wrong and so good at the same…

  14. Swearin

    “Hey Maria, want to make out? I’m the commander of a starship, you know…”

  15. Mike Walker

    Is that a Tribble in your pants or are you just glad to see me?

  16. J.R.

    “SMELL” “IT” “Go on, Smell It!”

  17. toopier

    First the kiss, then the double fist punch.

  18. Codot

    Well, you’re not green, but what the hell.

  19. Captain’s log 5784: About to mouth rape entertainment reporter Maria Menunous. She tastes like Ryan Seacrest.

  20. LockNLoad

    “Coo coo for Cocoa Puffs…Denny Crane”.


    And then he snapped her neck.

  22. spartacus

    “Kirk, what is this ‘love’ of which you speak?”

  23. “…and we keep sucking on each other’s noses and then eventually our sinuses will clear up simultaneously…”

  24. tlmck

    “Dammit Scotty! Not now!”

  25. Kelly Brook's new stalker

    The only Big Giant Head he gets now.

  26. Help Me

    “Gosh, they feel so real these days.”

  27. Still a better love story than Twilight.

  28. MarkM

    Look CLOSER dammit, Maria! You’re telling me that under all these wrinkles and fat, you can’t see Captain Kirk?!?

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