1. ThisWillHurt

    Even his hair gets a giant boner.

  2. With the package he’s sporting, he’s got to eat last because no man wants to follow that act.

  3. cc

    He looks a lot like me actually.

  4. When you have a foot long cock, you don’t really even have to try.

    • Sven Golly

      Only if you’re gay. If you’re straight you need a matching bulge in your wallet. Doesn’t hurt in the first instance either but women are not so obsessed with humongous schwanzes.

  5. And I’ll blow you first.

  6. Looks like someone who went on a 2 day sleepless cocaine bender.

  7. T-Time

    His wife would never leave him…not because of his huge schlong, but because she’s useless now to other men. It would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

  8. I’m going to get crap for this but …he is over rated (in terms of looks)

  9. You look a little distressed, there, John—pants too tight?

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