1. Marriage counseling seems to be a bit more practical in New Zealand.

  2. I have been to demonstrations like these, and holy shit are they boring. “Oh wow, look at him slowly hit the mat with the club again, in the same way they’ve been doing for the past 10 minutes, wow cool, I want to be a police officer…”

  3. Frank Burns

    “Very good,” responded Prince William, “but what if some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries? Or suppose he’s got a pointed stick?”

  4. Tiggles

    “Prince William we are proud to say that since we’ve started this special tactics squad, attacks using foam pads are down 1.5% in New Zealand from last year.”
    “Jolly good.”

  5. JimBB

    We used to use an Irishman, your majesty. But the bloody courts make us use these padded bags now instead.

  6. The rest of the day was spent fixing the scratched floor – caused by Kate’s high heels.

  7. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    “So when the Queen mistakes you for a commoner, and comes after you to drink your blood, this is the area to strike to damage her more tender scales.”

  8. “This is how we decide who gets the good parking spaces.”

  9. Mark Fuhrman

    Speaking of traditional practices in New Zealand involving dark skinned people…

  10. JungleRed

    Who let him wander out of special ed?

  11. “Next up…we have rock vs. scissors”

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