1. I’m sure somebody else can do the Jabba the Hutt speak better than me.

  2. “You want me to ramble on pointlessly for an hour? Well, I don’t usually do this….”

  3. Cock Dr

    The diet went well. Those carbs know who’s boss.

  4. I'mCool

    Don’t worry, Kevin. Once it moves past your first stomach, the cramping goes away.

  5. EricLr

    Looks like someone needs to do a lot of walking.

  6. nipsey russell

    seen here inspired by cartman to crap out of his mouth

  7. “Ha! Dick jokes! Who writes this shit?”

  8. Richard McBeef

    I can only hope that someday I become so fat that hockey jerseys are all I can wear.

  9. The Pope

    They should have made him use two podiums.

  10. “Oh, ha ha ha ha! No, I haven’t had a decent movie idea in decades…”

  11. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    Know what the rules say about the size of the goalie? Nothin!! Ha ha ha ha

  12. journalschism

    The jersey that converts into an arena!

  13. Kevin Smith seen in the moment before he hacked up all of his internal organs. Needless to say, they were HUGE!!!

  14. eh

    now all the guy needs is to do is add a baseball cap worn backwards and he will start a whole new fashion movement.

  15. Recently heard at a Dennys…

    “Silent??? That motherfucker NEVER stops asking for pork products…”

  16. Coyote

    Look like he has his own hockey equipment. Pads included

  17. Minky Wail

    “Die, Fat Ass, die!”

  18. “I’m sorry I forgot what I was about to say, teehee!”

  19. Jack

    Why dont you all shut the fuck up!!!Dont hate just cos he can be successful and over weight . Over weight people have to use there brains to get ahead and then also take all your ridicule. All you wanna be D-grade jersey shore fucking idiots need to go back to what you do best. EATING DICK you pack of FUCKS!!!

    • Joaquin ingles

      Oh sure. Jonah Hill is a genius.

      • Jack

        I dont know much about him. Im a Smith fan. However this guy is smart enough to have a career in movies. i just saw a pic of him at present and he’s also smart enough to lose 50 to 100 pounds. Have you ever achieved any of these goals? Just saying.

      • Meat

        Shut up Jack, you fuckin fat ass

      • Jack

        hahahahahaha
        I could out run you, out fight you, out think you any day of the week and twice on Sunday!
        Meat? We know where the meat is right on your forehead
        you fucking dickhead.
        I’ve got 9% body fat and you all know where the fat is at!!
        You don’t have to be over-weight to stick up for over-weight people.
        I was built to fight for the under-dog cos real people do real things!!! Live for something die for nothing…
        So stick to being the shallow cunt that you are. Sit in your room at your parents house with ya little “meat” in your hand spanking off to the Jonas bros you pathetic little clown!!!

      • JackisaDoucheTank

        awww Jack is a certified internet badass! I have 1% body fat, I can jump 18 feet high, and beat your ass with my pinky! I’m an internet tough guy, too!

  20. I see the Kevin Smith balloon for the Thanksgiving Day Parade is ready ahead of schedule

  21. tlmck

    “I can’t believe they pay me huge bucks to be stupid. lol”

  22. Pipedreamer

    “No, I can’t believe nobody has figured out I’m a no talent, one trick pony hack yet either!”

  23. Friends and Family

    You’re wearing an extra large bed cover as clothing, we’re just waiting for you to die.

  24. Bonky

    The oversized sports jersey is the muumuu for fat guys.

  25. If

    He should have no visible association to any sport whatsoever.

  26. Swearin

    This is his reaction to a question about whether he always knew Ben Affleck would have success in Hollywood

  27. Another Mike

    Dear Kevin,

    Your next movie should be about you going on a diet. Then you can make another movie where you stand in front of people talking about the moive you did about said diet. Two birds, one stone. Remember, you don’t eat the birds, just a metaphore.

    .

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