superficial

  1. Oh how the mighty have fallen

  2. JimBB

    She’s going fly-fishing later.

  3. Get knocked up at 16 and just give up right on life. Sounds about right.

  4. Chaz

    Oh My God! Jamie Lynn ate Bertney.

  5. Zoey 101 Presents: How to ruin your career.

    Step 1: Get knocked up by a pedophile at Nickelodeon.
    Step 2: Carry the pregnancy to term.

    The End.

  6. Chaz

    Quite frankly, I’m surprised there were any leftovers.

  7. PassingTrue

    The glamouous life of being “the responsible one”

  8. I heard that she was raised in Louisiana, but I didn’t realize it was in the swamps.

  9. She looks like the “before” stage from those 80s movies where the mousy teen heroine gets a makeover and becomes hot.

  10. Swearin

    Maybe she’s just waiting for her water to break again.

  11. “Bertney and the Family Visit”
    A Step Into Reading Tale

    One day, Papa arrived in Bertney’s room with a surprise for her.
    “A surprise!” said Bertney. “And it isn’t even my berfday!”
    “I know,” Papa said with a smile. “But Mr. David said you let him play with you last night and you deserve a reward. We’re going to Lewis Anna to see Mama and Jamer Lynn.”
    Bertney was confused. Papa liked to use a lot of big words and it made Bertney hurt to understand, but she had been hoping for Furnch Fries and Papa didn’t talk about them. But she didn’t like the look on Papa’s face so put on a brave a smile.
    “Fun!” she managed. “To the arrowplane!”
    Bertney was darn excited on the plane and bounced up and down on her seat. Even Papa’s angry couldn’t stop her so he had to give her the special white candy that made her head stop.
    When they arrived three Sesame Streets later, Bertney had forgotten all about Furnch fries. She loved Lewis Anna and her sister Jamer Lynn.
    “You are Jamer and Mama is Lynn!” she told Papa. “So Jamer Lynn is like my Papa AND my Mama!”
    “Yes Bertney, yes she is” replied Papa recalling all the times Jamer Lynn had to babysit Bertney.
    At the arrowport Jamer Lynn was waiting and Bertney was upset because she looked like she’d been eating a lot of Furnch Fries. But then Jamer Lynn took her hands from behind her back and gave Bertney a box filled with Furnch Fries!
    Jamer Lynn was truly the bestest big sister in the world.

  12. Joe Blow

    I’d do it…. I like my girls thick, plus I’d like to say I fucked one step away from stark raving crazy.

  13. Little Tongue

    The ugly stick came in late for this one.

  14. ya know that’s the less retarded one. She’s actually less retarded.

  15. She beat Anorexia, hard. With a bat.

  16. dennis

    With jowls like that it’s hard to believe she still young.

  17. so trashy that it is a turn on…you know that she would let you do almost anything to her body

  18. ThrewUpInMyMouth

    Jamie Lynn’s Daddy issues will never be resolved.

    Not.Ever.

  19. Inner Retard

    Either put on a longer skirt or put down the fast food. Your choice but make it NOW!

  20. I think those chunky white thighs are a turn-on.

  21. “Baby girl you’ve gotta make a decision. Are you gonna go to college or work on a tuna boat?”

  22. How long were we in there for? That all you can eat buffet just kept going, Brit would be proud

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