1. Look, I know you have a granddaughter…
    I know she’s one of the few underage girls in LA I have yet to bang…
    So let’s work something out.
    I have a coupon for Applebee’s…

  2. St. Vincent Millay

    “Have you seen my Chi-poodle, Dog Whisper?”

  3. George P Burdell

    Wilmer steps up and snags his latest Wilford Brimley rebound.

  4. icu

    “Really! My dick is this big!”
    “Nobody’s dick is that big young man.”
    “Good day ma’am!”
    “I’m just trying to talk some sense int…”

  5. tlmck

    How low can Kathy Griffin go?

  6. “Have you seen my dog? He’s about this big and…you know what? Could you help me put up ‘Lost Dog’ posters around the neighborhood? I have a stack back home in my bedroom.”

  7. Using the Subway footlong slogan as code to tell the lady he only prefers girls that are 12 years old.

  8. papastryfe

    Our guide in Guadalajara said the donkey show entrance was over here, next thing you know, the horse’s dong went THIS far inside her…wanna go to Subway?

  9. “Please, take this money you poor unfortunate soul.”
    “I’m a TV star! My show is playing all over the world in reruns”
    “I apologize young man. Can I have my money back?”
    “Whoa! Let’s not do something we’ll both regret.”

  10. Scott

    Nice jeans you fucking idiot.

  11. unfortunate female baldness

  12. “I didn’t sleep with your daughter…it wasn’t me, seƱora. I’m only the gardner.”

  13. “Do you need help tying tour shoes young man?”
    “What do I look like, an idiot?”

Leave A Comment