“…and then Gary Busey was all ‘NNNEERRRRGHHH’”

and then I was like…… “….nnnoo…. ddddeeeerrrrrrp…” so there.

Where’s her hockey helmet?

Against all advice, she went Full Shields.

Tom Cruise just posted this pic on the Scientologists’ Wall Of Shame (under “long term effects of post-partum, anti-depressant use”)
Brooke just smiled and ate some crayons.

Nobody has ever seen her in the same room as Maria Shriver. Coincidence? I think not.

So…Brooke Shields without makeup?

There’s no excuse for post pardem depression.

Mom told me that if I said “Fuck” enough my face would look like this.

I really wish she would just go into hiding. Pics like this make it so hard to masturbate to The Blue Lagoon.

I mean, not impossible. But harder.

Not pictured: spittoon, lower left.

Dejected, defeated, she left in shame. But had she looked a little lower, nearer to the handle, she would’ve found another word, one that could’ve unlocked the mystery and sent her toward a different fate. It read, simply: Pull.

Someone alert Erin Brockovich. That unexplainable tourette syndrome outbreak has hit New Orleans.

To think.. Thirty years ago, I would have killed my family to bone her.

Let’s knock down some pigs!

Wow, look at Arnie Grape all grown up.

I didn’t know Brooke was British.

That’s not her good side.

I think Tom Cruise’s magic Scientology hexes finally kicked in

Brooke Shields doing a Miley Cyrus impersonation.

That’s no hot flash. That’s a massive stroke. Someone call 911!!!

Jim Carrey’s soul mate.

Brooke Shields is in rehearsal for her new movie, The Hot Flashes, in which she plays the part of a bottle opener.

Brooke now spends her days in the south giving elocution lessons to rednecks and inbreds.

I would do her in a second.

That’s uh… Great. Well there’s a Middle Eastern place down the street, but as for the Chianti and… other item, I can’t help you.

AWWW come on, you can clearly see: She’s caught in the middle of saying “I give Zero Fucks about that issue.”