1. “I never go anywhere without my seatbelt”

  2. Mohawk Disco

    Ever since Miranda left Orlando felt weird. The birds were singing, the sky was blue and he felt free. But still something was missing. It was really starting to bother him. Then he realized he has a leash home he can wear.

  3. “Diamonds, daisies, snowflakes…that girl.”

  4. anonymous

    He must have heard Disney is rebooting Indiana Jones. He better plant that seed before Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Tim Burton get there.

  5. Cock Dr

    He used to be such a cute little elf.
    Then that angel got ahold of him and turned him into Mr PotatoHead.

  6. Nate

    You’d think the guy could buy a coat that actually fit him, wouldn’t you?

  7. dontkillthemessenger

    I used to hate this guy so much. Now, I just feel sorry for him. He misses her so much that he’s decided to wear her clothes.

  8. Dr Paul Van Nostrum

    Orlando’s one carrot shy of being dressed like a snowman.

  9. Dox

    And you wonder why she left you.

  10. i bet that outfit looks much better if viewed in a sweeping flyover.

  11. You can tell someone’s taking a breakup hard if they start dressing like Reddit.

  12. Orlando just found out the nazis are digging for the ark of the covenant in the wrong place.

  13. Well, I guess it’s safe to say, “The bloom has definitely fallen off of that rose”. THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBOD… wait a minute… what do you mean, “That doesn’t make sense”? His name is, “Orlando Bloom” and he looks like a woman now! Hmmm… now that you mention it, what I wrote actually doesn’t make a lot of sense. Sorry.

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