1. cc

    Let me see? Yes, all that surgery has made your face feel like the carapace of a turtle.

  2. I have a message from Alec Baldwin *SLAP*

  3. The new photo in the dictionary under ‘Bitch slap’

  4. Even though it took 40 years, Jim Bob finally got to teach a bitch what happens when she don’t have his money.

  5. Mohawk Disco

    - Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were Joan Rivers
    - I AM! I just came from my plastic surgeon.

  6. good way to lose your fingers.

  7. ThisWillHurt

    “Hm, where have I seen you before? Oh! You must be Jennifer Lawrence’s grandmother! *caresses cheek* I cannot believe what your granddaughter has to put up with in the washed-up, 80-something hag of a comedian who . . . Oh, god. You’re face is melting off.”

  8. “There! If I cover up that much of your face, you ALMOST look like a normal human!”

  9. Bonky

    A tourist takes part in the new Hanukkah tradition of rubbing the
    wealthy Jewish troll on Park Avenue for good luck.

  10. Your right Joan it does feel exactly like Cathian Leather….

  11. sprub

    Where’s PETA when you need them?

  12. What did the five fingers say to the plastic mask thingy?

  13. What did the five fingers say to the face…

    Seriously, that’s not advisable. The Restylane fillers might shift permanently.

  14. Aunt Jemima

    Please, please, please tell me that Pai Mei has taught that guy the three inch punch or five-point-exploding-face technique.

  15. Ok, you’re right. It’s just as warm as actual flesh.

  16. Going to refrain from making a James Gandolfini comment.

  17. son of Flubber

    “I’m coming at you, Nigela-style”.

  18. papastryfe

    The only thing that could make this pic even better would be if Sean Connery was slapping her instead.

  19. s45qu4tch

    That’ll do pig. That’ll do.

  20. Dick Thunder: Brain Doctor

    how many lives were saved when this gentleman stopped the great face slide of 2013? we may never know.

  21. Why is that man slapping that fuzzy ferret?

  22. “Hey Chris, can I borrow your pho…”

  23. Jennifer Lawrence hired someone to slap that taste out of her mouth.

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