superficial

  1. “Officer, it’s not my fault my feet don’t reach the pedals.”

  2. “No listen here lil’ miss. This is a man’s car and should be treated as such..”

  3. “Ma’am, have you ever heard of Brandon Teena and what happened to her for trying to look like a dude?”

  4. Frank Burns

    “Crappy singing is a crime now? Damn, I’m screwed!”

  5. Teen pop douche – $15 million a year.

    Cop – $65,000 a year.

    Yeah, he’s getting the ticket.

  6. “Have you seen Divine Brown? I hear she works this corner.”

  7. it had to be said

    TAZE HIM, BRO!

  8. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    “You got to keep your head inside the car son. You’re driving now not mommy.”

  9. Sean Connery

    They got him for a DWI. Douche, Wanker, Idiot.

  10. “Sonny, I’m Selena’s uncle and if you ever lay a hand on her again, I’m going to put you in a cell with a 320 lb. bubba who’s also named Selena.”

  11. farting old man's wife

    Expensive sports car- check
    Caught Speeding- Check
    Incredibly small Penis- Checkeroooni!

  12. “Listen officer, I didn’t mean to say that your daughter was screaming my name from maple intercourse, honest!”

  13. Johnny P!

    “Yes, I have to sit on 2 phonebooks to see over the steering wheel, but I have I.D.! Honest!”

  14. pdan

    It’s hard to imagine the trigger discipline it must have taken for this officer to not reflexively empty his entire clip into that smarmy, maple-loving face. Kudos to you, sir.

  15. JK

    Sorry son. You’re a self involved douche but I’m sorry Mr Jackson died over a year ago. You’re too late.

  16. rantatonne

    Right after this he cried and got out of a ticket, and we now all know the true reason for his well calculated teenage lesbian look.

  17. Venom

    That cop was so close to pulling out his gun and becoming a national hero.

  18. eskwire

    My swagger coach will be so proud!! Instant street cred!

  19. Jam

    What is that, an Aston? Or a Lambo? Fucking little whiny douchebag. Thank heavens for lemming tweens who made this happen.

    • carlover

      It’s a Cadillac CTS-V modified by West Coast Customs. One of the modifications seem to be “suicide doors”… He also owns a matte black F430, porsche turbo and probably a white lambo.
      Aston would mean he has style, which he doesn’t…

  20. drustyle

    I’ve circled this school zone three times at 60 miles per hour. What does a kid have to do to suck some cop cock around here?

  21. cc

    Actually, in the spirit of the season, this fills be with good cheer. He’s only just got his license, and he owns a host of cars that have vast amounts of power. I see salvation (ours) on the horizon.

  22. Shoot!! Shoot!! Shoot, dammit!! It is a clean shoot!!

  23. “Selena wears that exact SAME outfit for me…”

  24. AnnaDraconida

    That’s an awfully big car for such a small person.

  25. lori

    He looks so incredibly silly n that car.

  26. KC

    Show a little cleavage and get out of ticket.

  27. Betty

    Did you know that December 17th is National Maple Syrup Day?

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