superficial

  1. “You can literally feel the signals the aliens are beaming into my head”

  2. Frank Burns

    “No, no, its ‘Ghost Protocol’, not ‘Ghost Heterosexual’. And no, I don’t know what TCLTC stands for, but let me check the appendix of Dianetics and get back to you.”

  3. “Feel it…go ahead … it’s like a little Thetan hedgehog.”

  4. it had to be said

    You must be this tall to attend this premiere.

  5. Ooooh- JUST missed out on that ride. Bummer.

  6. “I’m here in Rio on a Scientology research grant to discover what sort of additives are in your water that give all of the Brazilian women those heathen, barbarian bubble-butts.”

  7. farting old man's wife

    He would shit his alien lovin pants if he knew that someone was showing how short he really is!! HAHAHAHAHHAHA!

  8. Rumple Foreskin

    “No, just the yellow pages at the dinner table, not the whole phone book. Quit being glib.”

  9. cc

    You used to be this tall!

  10. Johnny P!

    Fan: Meester Crooze! Meester Crooze! Weel you sign my tatas? uh…. I mean, my teets??
    Tom: Sure lady, just don’t make me look at ‘em!

  11. Ashley

    Check out more celebrity news at CeIebur.com

  12. Blech

    “But I must ask– where is my big black microphone?”

  13. Rayray

    The other hand is up his ass ” look Tom is my puppet from zoinks”

  14. tlmck

    Not shown: His leg shaking when someone rubs his head.

  15. drustyle

    “Ok, I’ll do it this one last time….”Mel! Kiss My Grits!”

  16. “Is that… Is that MY Hello Kitty ink pen???”…

  17. brit

    Notice how the interviewer is crouching down to put the microphone at the correct level.

  18. PowerMuff

    This is the photo that proves that chiropractors can’t fix “gay”

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