1. I’ll cut the hair if you stop hitting me ok?

  2. jaded

    Beaten down husband, see “Brad Pitt Syndrome”

  3. Soup

    The Almost Famous sequel was widely panned by critics.

  4. DeucePickle

    You’re a dirty pirate hooker

  5. Tad Bit Tipsy

    Bullshit, I can play anybody. I can play Mike Tyson for Christ Sake! Watch this…

  6. Cock Dr

    They look cute together.
    Good luck with that.

  7. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    All she had to do was stare in to his yellow eyes without blinking once.

  8. We hear that Ben Affleck is up for the lead roll in the remake of “Yogi Bear.”

  9. Contusion

    “…and then Matt pulled his dick out of my ass and said, ‘How’s them apples!!!’”

  10. Things were going well right up until he leaned in and whispered, “I love your gigantic ears.”

  11. Ben’s practicing for a game of “Rodeo Cowboy” later tonight. He’ll be banging Jennifer Garner doggie-style, whisper into her ear “Your sister likes it this way too” and then try to stay on for 8 seconds.

  12. hmna

    Why is Serpico hitting on Jennifer Garner?

  13. Raoul

    Ben’s gonna be pissed when he sees the d-bag hanging all over his wife!

  14. The Brown Streak

    Little known fact: when you blow into Jennifer Garner’s ear, it makes the sound of a train whistle.

  15. lori

    He looks like a 70′s porn star with that that ‘do.

  16. Cheating on Ben with Keanu?

  17. “Rated ‘Argh’ for Pirates. Fuck you.”

  18. dontkillthemessenger

    Her dick is bigger than his.

  19. corkbuster

    smile or my hair will kill you

  20. Ruth

    HOMG. I thought that was Keanu Reeves and Anne Hathaway.

  21. Every now and then, Sad Ben realizes he IS still banging the Alias chick after all and goes “Ah, fuck ‘em.”

  22. So a hobo can tap that and I can’t?!

  23. dookie

    Hey, Serpico!

  24. dookie

    Shoe bomber Richard Reid

  25. When did Jennifer Garner start dating one of the dudes from Oasis?

  26. Allie Reno

    he looks like a freaking caveman

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