Still gets to go home to Christy Turlington…

looks more like Edward Norton

He better get a move on. I ordered that sandwich like an hour ago.

It’s the yellow backpack that makes him look gay. Not the whole riding a “Xooter”.

Ken Burns should document this.

“Fucking Seguy! They said I would never tip this thing over! I nearly died five times on this thing!”

I live in NYC. Its not even that cold. Pussy

I like it when someone’s name is a sentence.

Another Hollywood Madoff victim…….

Somebody get this guy a Segway…..

He’d better hurry up before Anthony Kiedis catches him and demands to get his scooter back.

Goddamitt, it’s too soon for a remake of “Big”

It’s a methane powered scooter. The bag is full of broccoli and burritos.

That yellow thing pops out and turns into a sail. During Hurricane Sandy, he broke the land speed world record for scooters… all that and he married Christy Turlington.. Fucker

That’s a life raft on his back in case that thing goes out of control and he ends up in a puddle

This is the next wave of actor smugness. It wasn’t enough that they guilted us into hybrid cars. Now they look down on anyone who doesn’t ride a scooter.

Some aspects of your youth aren’t worth reliving.

“To infinity and beyond”

Is he running away from home?

“Think you’re Green Begley? Fuck You!”

“Thith thitty needth me! Have no fear, thitizenth, Ed Burnth ith here!”
*gets run over by a fire truck*

“Young man please wait for the crossing guard.”

Fuck all y’all with your anti-scooter comments. If you saw what the NYC traffic was on Wednesday—first full day Manhattan was open to traffic from outside the island—you’d be gettin’ your scooter out, too.

His mom is letting him walk to middle school all by himself this year!

That look is a deal breaker.

Walk, you buffoon.