1. it had to be said

    Huh. Foundation garments really are the key to everything.

  2. New event in the World’s Strongest Man competition:
    The Simpson Corset Tighten.

  3. GLT

    If those laces break we’re all doomed.

    • SithsRevenge

      If those laces break, her ass will finally be free to leave the space between her armpits and lead a more dignified life.

  4. JC

    Now all she has to do is find a garment that hides the dumb.

    • Bionic_Crouton

      Ha Ha Ha Ha!

    • I think her tits do that.

      • Uhhhh…pretty sure that tits that size do the opposite of hiding the dumb. Now I am definitely not saying that you can’t have tits that size and still be smart, but let’s not kid ourselves about the dumb-to-smart ratio of women with this cup size. (And if we limit it to women enhanced to this cup size, that ratio nears infinity.)

      • katie

        I was totally with you until the part about the “dumb to smart” ratio of women with big tits- it sounded like a contradiction to your first (and better) point. Big titted women are assumed to be dumber because they don’t need brains to get ahead- no one cares as much if they happen to be dumb. BUT, there are just as many dumb bitches with big titties as there are with small.

      • Uh…I don’t think I said anything like dumb women have to have big tits, not small ones. I said “dumb-to-smart ratio of women with this cup size” to mean, say, for every smart chick with this rack, there’s probably let’s say four or five dumb ones. (And if I’m wrong, then prove me wrong, all you women out there with bodacious ta-tas.)

        Now, katie, maybe you’re still not with me here, but I think I’m missing or perhaps misunderstanding the explanation why.

      • I’ve got big tits and I’m not sure whether to be offended or whether anything offensive was even said about me. So I’m just going to cry in general cos I’m confused.

  5. ThisWillHurt

    I just had an idea for a Cheetos commercial set in the Renaissance.

  6. The Pope

    You have to accentuate the positit.

  7. You know that sound cables and girders make right before they snap? That.

  8. Cock Dr

    That baby must be drowned daily in cream.

  9. Ismoss

    Reminds me I need milk.

  10. Tit-shelf… awesome.

  11. Is this the video for her autotuned remake of “Leather and Lace?”

  12. Totally would. She looks like her old self here.

  13. I think she looks spec-fucking-tacular! I don’t give two shits if it’s Photoshop, foundation garments, trick photography, or a fucking miracle. I think she’s a doll!

  14. cc

    Jessica Simpson…advancing the art of materials science.

  15. EricLr

    I only they had made the space shuttle out of the same stuff that corset is made of.

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