Maria Menounos at the Oceana Partners Awards Gala 2013 in Beverly Hills. (October 30, 2013) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
You can see the outline of her spanks.
Those aren’t Spanx we’re seeing
I don’t know what’s better: the outline of at least two, maybe three sets of butt squeezers or the dude in the background.
Beware of the creeper in the burgundy sweater.
That face is beaming with pride about her ass.
No one ever wants to believe me when I say this one isn’t going to turn out well. Here is the beginning of the end.
I believe you. The thing is barely contained in the reinforced dresses she wears, and will continue its inevitable slide down the backs and sides of her legs. I’ve seen it happen.
Oh we believe you, it is just that that is not important right now. Live for the here, not the tomorrow.
No one would have believed, that Maria’s ass was being watched from the timeless shadows of anonymity. And yet, across the gulf of space, a butt immeasurably inferior to hers regarded this with envious eyes, and slowly, and surely, Akeem drew his plans against it.
Maria doesn’t need to wear Depends, but she’s doing it anyway.
Racoons in a pillowcase.
Not a flattering dress in the bum area. It is amazing how bad skinny women can make themselves look because of the clothes they squeeze in to.
Who threw water on the witch?
I love her big ass.
Excuse me, the mashed potatoes in the kitchen need another whipping. Not cool Maria; let it go–just let it go.
” (whispering to himself)… and you and mom can take turns giving me a bath. You will live in our basement and I’ll bring you plenty of cats to eat, but only the ones that won’t stop talking to me. I’ll tie you and mom to the bed so you don’t get too scared by my screaming during the night terrors.You’ll call me Penthrax, lord of the northern realms and I’ll grant you and mom my lordly seed simultaneously so you can share the joys of princely birth. Then, after my sons are born, you and mom can fight to the death to see which child will be my heir and which one we’ll eat. You are such a lucky girl!”
It’s like a second set of ribs hiding back there.
She’s no Pippa from the back.
This is why we can’t have nice things.
And also the point in a man’s life when an imagined past is preferable to the certain indignity the future holds,
an unstoppable trudge into bitterness, incapacity, and then death,
-all because of Maria’s ass.
Some people like round butts. Not me. I like them to have shelving units pre-installed.
This is like finding out about Santa Claus.
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