“What? They’re mine, okay? I’m paying them $5 an hour plus Burger King lunch. That’s very generous. Muy generoso, si? See, they’re happy.”
“Hey. They have bigger penises than Fergie.”
And then he paid us to do bad things…awful, awful things.
“Fuck, I was just about to jump on the back and hitch a ride away from Fergie forever and these damn paps caught me”.
‘Hey you, Rabbi Schmekel, hop on – all we need now is an Indian and a cop, and we’ve got ourselves our new Village People band!. You like butt sex, right? There’s going to be lot’s of butt sex.’
“Quick honey! Take a picture of my slaves now…and then AFTER I throw my green drink on them! I LOVE being rich!”
“So for $50, we can go in those trees over there and you will both suck my di. . . .oh shit. Camera. Act natural.”
Josh considered himself a decent man. He wasn’t happy about this. He didn’t like tricking these men into accepting a ride in his truck. But Fergie had to eat and it was either them or him and his child. It was going to be them. And many more just like them.
Josh doing his Timothy Olyphant impersonation.
“I found them in a dumpster in Van Nuys and, goddamnit, I’m keeping them!”
The going rate for two Mexicans = 1 spray botte
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Josh Duhamel in Los Angeles. (October 2, 2013) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN