1. Leo was generally satisfied with his hipster affectations, but, as he put two fingers to his lips and drew a deep breath between them, he felt there something missing …

  2. Leo hadn’t decided exactly what he would do if that fuckers fork touches his bread…but he knew it had to send a message. A message that would not be forgotten.

  3. fred

    Ah, the smell of two from the pink.

  4. George P Burdell

    Contemplating the previous picture. He then turns to to bald Billy Zane and the next table and says, “Dude, wtf were you thinking?”

  5. *sniff* “Smells like supermodel.”

  6. Last time goes to lunch with Lena Dunham…

  7. cc

    If you look closely you’ll see a Victoria’s Secret catalog with M-E-N-U across the top.

  8. Bonky

    “How do I dump this one?… Maybe I can do a ‘It’s not you its me’, no not that. Man hands… ? No, not really that bad. Hmm… wait… Yes, yes, go for the bread, the sourdough bread. Ok, how do I do this? Maybe, ‘Sorry but nobody touches my sourdough bread’. No, lame, ok…. ‘Baby, sourdough bread has a lot of meaning to me and…’, damn it I got to work on this….”

    • lol. I like the effort you put into this. But at this point, I think he breaks up with women by simply yelling “NEXT!” and is promptly mounted.

  9. anonymous

    Leo: “Is it gay when you regularly bang supermodels but your fingers smell like Jonah Hill’s ass at the moment?”

  10. Contemplating his next supermodel beard I see.

  11. IrishBoyo

    That Phil Collins biopic is gonna be EPIC!

  12. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    Looks like he’s taken the news of Miranda Kerr’s & Orlando Bloom’s marriage breaking up a more seriously than one would expect. Possibly because, with the former now available, he’s plotting ways to wangle his way into her happy place.

  13. Ever the rebel Leo smokes an invisible cigarette.

  14. Swearin

    Jeez, he’s turning into late-life Jack Nicholson, isn’t he?

  15. “I’m sitting here contemplating what in the fuck it is that makes you think you can relieve me of some of my victuals…Keep your anus-scratching eatin’-irons away from my food or I’ll stab you in the face with a Bowie knife.”

  16. pdubs

    My suspicions are coming to true, he is will be the next Marlon Brando.

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