superficial

  1. Pickle Nose

    “it’s not a purse, it’s a satchel.”

  2. I bet there’s a contingency that only guys under 5′, 5″ can travel with him

  3. EricLR

    Sir, your anti-gay injections are ready. And command reports that Subject 1A is now dating Jaimie Fox. Shall we deploy the missiles?

  4. ” So…lots of good pussy here tonight I hope. I love pussy, man. Right! Right? Isn’t pussy the best? Just. Pussy, dude. What else can you say? Right? Am I right? Can’t get enough dicks. FUCK!!!!!” *

    *leaves

  5. anonymous

    “As per your request Mr. Cruise everyone here tonight is 5′ 6″ or shorter.”

  6. “Now that we’re all here, I call this meeting of the Lollipop Guild to order.”

  7. If he’s hoping that helmet will prevent brain damage he’s too late.

  8. cc

    That’s an odd cast of characters.

  9. “Where’s all the white women at?”

  10. “Mr. Cruise, the agency sent me to watch your back.”
    “Hey, buy me a drink first!”

  11. “Oh my gosh, you don’t have to call me Mr. Cruise. Just call me…MAVERICK!”

  12. “Table for one by the men’s room Mr. Cruise ?” “Hell yeah !”

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