1. One does not simply punch a photographer in the face.

  2. R. Ebert

    “Well in the dreams she’s not my daughter…”

  3. “How do you like my invisible slide whistle?”

  4. Lord Helmet

    You’re a fu&# assh… No, No Alec. Remember what the therapist said. That smart… calm… monkey… faced… fucktard I wouldn’t kick out of the way of a speeding car!

  5. What did he close to get that cup of coffee?

  6. dontkillthemessenger

    This was 5 minutes before someone said they saw his daughter’s asshole on Twitter.

  7. “Ooooo….this espresso is absolutely perfect. I’m still going to need to punch someone though, but only just once. Maybe twice.”

  8. anonymous

    “I love this tiny cup. It makes my hands look normal sized.”

  9. Seriously? Those Torrente movies are unwatchable. Did Alec not save enough 30 Rock money to cover his rent?

  10. Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world – except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe…”

  11. “One does not simply use the phrase ‘Thoughtless pig’.”

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