superficial

  1. I am a very straight female, yet I want to marry Ellen- is that weird?

  2. Now… where’s that nerve my acupuncturist told me would knock a person out… let me see…

  3. contusion

    How can her nipples even pierce leather?

  4. Hugh Gentry

    Only Jennifer Aniston could nip out in a bath robe.

  5. Moments after Ellen Degeneres performed her legendary “I can make your ring disappear” trick.

  6. Ellen’s beside herself with glee imagining the fisting Jen could put on her with those mitts.

  7. I can’t believe this needs to be said, but here goes:
    Leather dresses look HORRIBLE! STOP WEARING THEM!

  8. Vlad

    Now come on, Jennifer, stop tightening your arm muscles, come on, it’s really easy, just touch my breasts while Portia isn’t looking.

  9. Yoda Mann

    Rock hard candy mountain. And some guy on the fright, who’s just in the way.

  10. Motorboat Captain

    Turkey’s done.

  11. The uncomfortable look on Jennifer Aniston’s face says it all:
    “Is Ellen hitting on me or helping me? Should I be flattered, grateful or offended?”

  12. Checking to make sure Aniston did not cover up the brand she gives to all her bitches.

  13. Are her nipples made of titanium?

  14. Mitch

    Only in America can you have this thing in “Covergirl” commercials to sell “beauty” products.

  15. tlmck

    Madame Tussauds is getting really good at these things.

  16. “This will do nicely, perhaps with a studded gauntlet.”

  17. What the Füć§!

    Just by having Ellen touch her hands, Jennifer’s nipples stood erect! Wait till she flips out her strap-on!!

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