“The gerbil? No, we haven’t spoken in years. There was a . . . *starts crying* I’m sorry, let’s move on.”

I can’t actually tell you much about this movie, but I do have a variety of hippie diatribes for you to choose from, if you like.

“This reminds me of a few years back when Travolta and Cruise tried to get me to convert to Scientology.”

“…and untl the People’s Republic of China agrees to recognize the right of the Tibetan people to autonomous rule, then there can be no… What? I’m sorry, where was I? Yeah, even I have a hard time following my inane blathering”

“I can’t decide. They both taste the same to me.”

You take the blue butt-plug, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red butt-plug, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the gerbil hole goes.

“Of course my hair has gone white. I’m 88 years old and living with a gerbil somewhere in my bowels.”