Nice combover Tyra, totally natural-looking.
Whether that stupid expression is frozen on her face or not, that’s exactly how she always looks to me.
Once upon a time, a top model. Now she looks like she got a ride home from Chris Brown.
“In answer to your questions…yes, I am considered to be a supermodel…and, no, I have not recently been in a horriblty deforming automobile accident.”
“Wow. She looks weird.” – LaToya Jackson
Really weird – Lil Kim.
“You kiddin’ me?! -Ever seen a Kosher-Goatse? Here, watch this,…
Okay, okay, you’re right guys Tyra still looks like a Bell’s Palsy sufferer that ran through a sledgehammer factory. You win.” -Jocyelyn Wildenstein
“Why yes, I AM a cunt! You got a problem with that?”
“I’m sorry, what was the question? what does ‘Symposium’ mean? uh…next question!”
“Now, I don’t know what a symposium is, but the voices in my head said it was a good idea to come dressed and ready to trick or treat.”
“See this between my tits? -Birthday present from Oprah. She said I could keep it if I dial down the crazy to a dull roar. What is it? Oh nothing, a keepsake really; -just the ossified remains of Steadman Graham’s left nut.”
“Yes, much like Chris Brown, I am Trayvon. And Kanye, he is too. We are very persecuted, despite all of the time and energy we put into pulling black kids out of the slums…oh, wait, we definitely don’t do that. Yeah. Well…hey! My shoes are $3,000! You white people love that kind of stuff, right?”
‘Yeah, it’s kind of big and ostentatious, but you wouldn’t believe how many paid subscribers I have for this wireless boob cam.’
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Tyra Banks at the 4th Annual WIE Symposium in New York City. (September 21, 2013) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN