superficial

  1. “Babe…my back tits got a little chaffed last night from laughing when I was hanging out with Georgie and Matty…might need a serious lotion rubdown after this power walk, m’kay”

  2. caley

    “You ate my other dog, Jonah?!”

  3. yourmom

    No way does this assclown deserve that. No fucking way.

  4. “Lady…give me back my girlfriend’s leash…”

  5. It wears the yoga pants upon its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

  6. Josephus

    Jonah Hill with his girlfriend, we get it. But who’s the woman?

  7. EricLR

    The only dogs they could find that could fit on the couch with Mr. Serious Actor.

  8. I’m sure he was pulling tail of this quality when he was a nobody.

  9. You say girlfriend, I say long term hooker.

  10. cc

    Don’t tell me how big my public mound is look at your fucking back fat!

  11. Spleen

    She loves him for his body.

  12. what?
    this leash was your lap band??

  13. crb

    OH NO YOU DON’T! You are NOT stealing my pillow-monsed, Victoria’s Secret shopping, Emily Blunt lovequeen, Jonah Hill; no you are Not!

    … getting Right on a goddamn plane to the LA to stop that crap, right now…

  14. RAWZ

    She has no labia. I get why she’s with him. I’d be with him too if I physically couldn’t have sex with him.

  15. Don Draper's Dad

    The second she gets her chronic iritis fixed that dude is totally gettig Culkined.

  16. whatever

    her children will be beautiful, hunchback, back-fat, out of shape, no shape at all people, …. at least they’ll be rich

  17. I didn’t know they allowed Seeing Eye Dogs to be so small…

  18. “I was thinking about us having sex.”
    “So was I. That’s why I threw up a little in my mouth…for now walk my dogs and pay my rent.”

  19. rican

    You mean his friend, who also happens to be a girl.

  20. Arzach

    -”Oh no! It stopped again!, I knew it! I should have bought the XKR-450 Advanced Girlfriend Model instead of the Windows Compatible version”-

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