superficial

  1. “Look kid, I just want to buy all the pretzels in your stand, ok? Why is that a problem?”

  2. That is one giant melon

  3. justin

    Didn’t know Frankenstein’s Monster was a Notre Dame fan

  4. contusion

    “Um… a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it.”

  5. “Listen, I don’t care if you ARE Zach Braff, you’re not getting on the set of Old School II”

  6. “Listen asshole, I don’t know what’s going on, but every week your laundry service shrinks my clothes by a little bit. Seriously, it’s bad enough I can barely fit into my fucking pants and shirts, but now my hat won’t even fit? You better get your shit together or your fuckin’ laundry mat goes down! Now… where are my fuckin’ hot dogs?”

  7. The Brown Streak

    Is this how the NFL found the replacement officials? They just sent Vince Vaughn out to tag them?

  8. i heart yo mama.

    5 and half head!

  9. KellyC

    “You telling me I can’t call the play? With your little ‘official’ badge dangling around your back from your grandma’s twine? Look at my hat. Do you see my hat? THIS goes above the zebras, my friend.”

  10. “Wait..did you just tell me…’You’re so money’?!?”

  11. cc

    Where’s the statue of Joe Paterno?

  12. Completely untalented.

  13. Joaquin ingles

    “Look Stiller, I’ve been in enough of your fucked up movies already.”

  14. “OK, you go down the sideline and I’ll throw the ball to you right between the pickup and the telephone pole…”

  15. The initials V.V. are forever ruined in my mind

  16. EricLr

    You damn right you’re going to give me TWO hot dogs, I’M VINCE FUCKING VAUGHN!!!

  17. catapostrophe

    “No–they didn’t have any larger hats. Why?”

  18. Bionic_Crouton

    “Yes, ‘The Avengers’ was a great movie… but I’m Vince Vaughn, not Mark Ruffalo. Go back to Comic-con kid.

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