1. EEEEWWWWWWwwwww.

  2. River Viiperi, is that a fucking real name?

  3. joe

    It’s like The Green Mile, except she gives the bad energy.

    And the herpes.

  4. *Paris facehugger attaches to host* 24 hours later, the embryo bursts from Rivers’ chest, a new Xenowhoreph is born.

  5. cc

    This is the part in the movie where a friend runs toward him screaming ‘Dooooooooooooooon’t!!!’

  6. Yep. She is definitely a swallower.

  7. Since the crucifix around his neck obviously isn’t working, let’s hope there’s some Valtrex taped behind it.

  8. Batu Khan

    Sometimes “The Crap We Missed” has a picture like this which I can only interpret as Photo Boy giving the world the finger.

  9. The little jar, with a membrane on top, that they use to “milk” venomous snakes to make antivenin? Let’s call it a “Viiperi”.

  10. yourmom

    Do you think his friends call him Herpe Vilperi?

  11. That’s the Paris we remember.

  12. When are we gonna get another sex tape, Paris?

  13. you can actually see his soul being sucked out.

  14. but really, why is her hair so nasty?

  15. One breathes out stupid, the other breathes in some stupid, then repeat. They’re the perfect symbiotic couple.

  16. “Give me your essence Slater.”
    “River… My name is River.”

  17. lawn

    Live it up, River, once it’s any softer than a billy club you’ll be sitting on the curb.

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