James Franco signing his book 'A California Childhood,' (which, allow me guys, OH, GO FUCK YOURSELF, DICKNOSE.) in New York City. (August 10, 2013) -Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“And then I remember one time, they put brown M&M’s in my candy dish…Acting is so much harder than you commoners might imagine.”
I liked the caption better when I thought it said “James Franco SINGING his book …”
“I was originally going to call it ‘Californication’, but felt it would have been morally unethical to take ownership where the Douche Elders Duchovny and Kiedis had already tread…So I felt extolling the virtues of my Californian childhood really cuts the Gordian Knot of my California experience – and as such existence – to a Chakric level…oh excuse me…”
:: farts into water bottle and sniffs deeply ::
“When I was a kid, I would always get beat up in the Black and Latino neighborhoods. And the Asian neighborhoods. And the people in the white neighborhoods didn’t particularly care for me either.”
This is the kind of thing that make me believe in an angry vengeful God.
“Theatrical vision, I haz it.”
“And then I thought, ‘You’re James Franco. If anyone can capture the essence of this character, it’s you. You were BORN to write this. You MUST write this. And that’s why the main character is the heir to the Massengil fortune.'”
“…and growing up in California, you can’t go around wearing an angora sweater like this without people comparing you to Ed Wood. But I can wear one here in New York without too much comment, because no one outside Hollywood actually saw that movie.”
“Then I saw a sign that said… $5 foot long.. As I was cramming it into my mouth, I looked up at the guy and said “Do you want to go get some Subway after this?”
A mohair sweater? Why not a tutu.
“And it was at that moment, as I looked up the the belly of the snail, that I realized, he and I are like ONE.”
“Is it true that you’ve been spending a lot of time lately hanging out with Jonah Hill?”
“Guards, escort this man outside and have him shot.”
“Look. I said NO bunnies were killed to make this sweater, ok?”
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