superficial

  1. worst foot job ever.

  2. She just realized his name is actually Dax.

  3. George P Burdell

    Moments before Jennifer Anniston’s pregnant fripples leave two stars in the windshield.

  4. “Aw fuck. I think the valet mistakenly gave us Adam West’s car.”

  5. “Oh My God she is still talking.”

  6. whats… “a nice Chianti”?

  7. JC

    “O.K., which of you jokers installed a ram air scoop on my Continental?”

  8. LLBL

    “Go away, ‘batin!”

  9. Vlad

    Dammit! I left my purse on the hood again. Kristen, crawl out there and get it for me.

  10. At the last second, his O-face is always besmirched by the sudden realization of how freakishly long his wife’s arm is.

  11. Dax likes it when she swallows, but hates it when she bites down.

  12. cc

    You, sir, are no Green Hornet.

  13. Dax just found out the baby is black.

  14. tlmck

    “We are taking this hunk of junk to the dealer right now mister and trading it for a minivan!”

  15. It wasn’t Justin Theroux’s birthday party. It was a “no one knows why we’re famous” party. Kristen Bell was just there with Dax.

  16. “Honey, your hands re freezing!”
    “That’s not my hand.”
    [cue 'dramatic chipmunk' music]

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