superficial

  1. NO, Justin! Get those french fries AWAY FROM ME!!!

  2. “Gwyneth, this is Chrissy, she’s that 10 year old girl from Catholic Charities I told you abo-”

    “MEAT-EATER! MEAT-EATER! I can SMELL her, you FOOLS! Get her away from me!!!”

  3. Cock Dr

    She looks as plain and dry as a Nilla wafer.

  4. The most beautiful woman in the world?

  5. rospo

    ”Stop confusing me with Cameron Diaz !!”

  6. dontkillthemessenger

    It’s All Good?

    Is her next book going to be named, “Mama, Is Dat Cornbread Gluten Free?”

  7. “No Shallow Hal DVDs!!!!”

  8. EricLR

    Some *EX* security guard just let a commoner come within touching distance!

  9. Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch

  10. George P Burdell

    For the last time, Mr Danger, that is not the type of “IT” I write about.

  11. Mike Walker

    From It girl to Cousin Itt

  12. Mike

    What. The. Fuck.

  13. cc

    IT”S NOT ARTISANAL WHOLE WHEAT BREAD! TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!

  14. JC

    “Fuck off, bitch! I only autograph handmade stationary made from cruelty-free Tibetan rice pressed with the tears of unborn fetuses! And they have to be rich European fetuses, not some common American fetuses!”

  15. “Shall the band play another Coldplay cover Ms. Paltrow?”

  16. icu

    “NO!!!!! I”M THE WHITEST WHITE GIRL EVAAAAARRRRRR! GOSH!”

  17. tlmck

    Wait, the people in East Hampton know how to read?

  18. “This is not the Montblanc pen I demanded !”

  19. “Wait, is a non-Ivy League American speaking to me!? Is that a gordita? Gunther, euthanize me.”

  20. Vinnie Delpino works at the Library now. Doogie can’t throw him the occasional bone?

  21. JJ

    They misprinted the title of her book, it should read “it’s all about me”

  22. STORAGE WARS IS ON, GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY OF THE FUCKIN’ TV!

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