1. Reasoning that he hasn’t had a good cavity search in a while, Val Kilmer decided to send out an open invitation…

  2. I heard he just introduces himself as “Val Kill-me” with a sigh nowadays.

  3. Joe Mamma

    I’m… butt man?

  4. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    He belongs to the Order of Fries

  5. Nonny Moose

    I can’t goddamn BELIEVE they picked Michael Fassbender instead of me.

  6. cc

    I’m going to him an offer he can’t refuse.

  7. USDA Prime McBeef

    Would not be my huckleberry.

  8. I thought Fassenbender got the lead in Assassin’s Creed.

  9. The Brown Streak

    “Anybody seen Buffy Summers?”

  10. Ice Man: in search of ice.

  11. Fingergod

    So Val Kilmer has joined the hacker collective known as “Anonymous”. Interesting career move. I wish him well.

  12. Trayvon is back but he’s white.

  13. “I’m Hoodman.”

  14. Senor Trout

    The Dark Knight Rises – like a cake in the oven with too much baking soda.

  15. Biff

    He looks a little better. Lost a few lbs. Good job Val.

  16. Here is a guy who, if he could have kept his goddamned pie-hole shut, could have been a huge name in Hollywood. Sort of a male Megan Fox except she has nicer tits and he is actually a fucking good actor.

  17. Urvag

    Went from wing man to a get me more wings man.

  18. EricLr

    Look, here’s $5, just leave us alone, okay?

    Oh…Mr. Kilmer….

  19. “I swear, all I got in these pockets are some Skittles and a roast beef sub. Now put the gun away, Whitey!”

  20. wagamama

    The horror, the horror…

  21. cuddles

    I can’t tell if those are crumbs from the cake he just swallowed or his teeth.

  22. Salad Face

    “I gave him an offer he could not refuse”, said Val in regards to his free buffet at the taco truck.

  23. Cadillac Jack

    I still like Real Genius, Heat, Top Secret, True Romance, The Doors, & The Salton Sea.

    so suck it haters.

  24. fiona

    how disturbing is it that i thought it was Renee Zellweger at first?!

  25. Colonel Angus

    I’m your dinkleberry.

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