Reasoning that he hasn’t had a good cavity search in a while, Val Kilmer decided to send out an open invitation…

I heard he just introduces himself as “Val Kill-me” with a sigh nowadays.

I’m… butt man?

He belongs to the Order of Fries

I can’t goddamn BELIEVE they picked Michael Fassbender instead of me.

I’m going to him an offer he can’t refuse.

Would not be my huckleberry.

I thought Fassenbender got the lead in Assassin’s Creed.

“Anybody seen Buffy Summers?”

Ice Man: in search of ice.

So Val Kilmer has joined the hacker collective known as “Anonymous”. Interesting career move. I wish him well.

Trayvon is back but he’s white.

“I’m Hoodman.”

The Dark Knight Rises – like a cake in the oven with too much baking soda.

He looks a little better. Lost a few lbs. Good job Val.

Here is a guy who, if he could have kept his goddamned pie-hole shut, could have been a huge name in Hollywood. Sort of a male Megan Fox except she has nicer tits and he is actually a fucking good actor.

Went from wing man to a get me more wings man.

Look, here’s $5, just leave us alone, okay?

Oh…Mr. Kilmer….

“I swear, all I got in these pockets are some Skittles and a roast beef sub. Now put the gun away, Whitey!”

The horror, the horror…

I can’t tell if those are crumbs from the cake he just swallowed or his teeth.

“I gave him an offer he could not refuse”, said Val in regards to his free buffet at the taco truck.

I still like Real Genius, Heat, Top Secret, True Romance, The Doors, & The Salton Sea.

so suck it haters.

how disturbing is it that i thought it was Renee Zellweger at first?!

I’m your dinkleberry.