1. “Guys, I know there’s been some malicious rumors going around… And I just want to clear things up: Snookie’s baby is not mine…”

  2. dontkillthemessenger

    Look at that greasy face. George Lopez demands a paternity test.

  3. “Yo Yo YO!”

    “Everybody having a good TIME?”

    “I can’t HEAR you!”

    Press Play

    And I’ve just “been a DJ”

    Thank you.

    • Bianca

      Ooh, that looks fun, let me try:

      “Check, check”

      “Kickin’ it on the 1′s and 2′s”

      “Single ladies, put yo hands up!”

      “Somebody ..anybody ..SCREEEEAM!!!”

      Now where’s my $10,000?

  4. cc

    No, no, dude, it was Spain OVER Italy 4-0

  5. Mr Smap Beav Sr

    Pauly “Don’t ever look like me!”
    Pauly “Dipshit”
    Pauly “Douchbag”
    Pauly “Dumbass”

    Everybody join in

  6. catapostrophe

    Nightmares are made of this.

  7. your mom

    Just cuz he’s an ass, doesn’t mean he gets to be in the ass parade.

  8. Johnny P!

    He’s looking like a middle-aged, Philippino Troll doll.

  9. The Brown Streak

    God, and to think he’s the SECOND worst DJ ever now. Thanks a fuckin’ bunch, Paris!

  10. Crissy

    And they thought the life in the shore would not take its toll! Guido life forevaaaaaa!

  11. Ruth

    Damn, they goofed on the strength of the magnets in the headphones.

  12. Contusion

    In 22 more years, when his Jersey Shore “fame” is long gone, he’ll still be sportin’ that stupid hairdon’t, hoping people will recognize him at the T-Mobile kiosk at the mall.

  13. BowelTowel

    “Someone… help… can’t.. make… breathing… don’t… know… why…”

  14. “Hey, yo…what a great crowd! Having a good time tonight? Thanks for coming out, you two!”

  15. Ewww, just ewww. The oldest looking 32 year old I’ve ever seen. This person’s face is the perfect example of what sun damaged skin looks like.

    • Mike Walker

      Naw, just bad genetics. Sun damage doesn’t make your face look like a paper bag full of butt plugs.

  16. Fingergod

    If Bart Simpson were human, he’d look like this.

  17. bethy

    Auto-stupidic Asphyxiation.

  18. Frunken

    Can we get a picture of the end of the night, when all the product from his hair has melted down to his face.

  19. It’s gotta take him…what?…maybe 2 hours to get his hair looking that gawdawful? Unless he’s had it epoxyed in place with some sort of space-age polymer or maybe tree resin.

  20. KC

    There’s never a Michael Jackson Pepsi commercial around when you need one.

  21. EricLr

    Uh oh, his head’s frozen up again. Get the oil.

  22. Hey, it’s Douchey-Douche!!!

  23. The real reason the Mayans vanished? D.J. Quetzalcoatl!

  24. versa

    Mmm, coke-bloat jowls. I hear there’s a ginger girl on the west coast who’ll sympathise. Stay classy.

  25. Pine Table Fever

    “…two fat ladies – 88. Up next we have all on it’s own – number 1! Oh, we have a winner? That’s bingo folks!”

  26. Colin

    Coke bloat and semen in his hair… someone’s on the Lindsay Lohan diet.

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