1. An appropriate name.

  2. Hah, “Fanny”. Because you can’t fine a novelty license plate with the name “DatAss” on it.

  3. Not seen is his mistress, Tits McGee.

  4. Number one reason why our parents should have forced us to play soccer outside instead of letting us play videogames all day…

  5. fred

    Somewhere Mario Batali is watching all of this and shaking his head in disgust.

  6. I would complain about the irregular legs on his pants, but I only noticed it after I stared at her ass for a solid half hour and didn’t give a fuck at that point.

  7. The Brown Streak

    “I wear my shorts like I wear my balls. One hangs lower than the other.”

  8. Chaz

    This is the first time I’ve seen Mario without his orange Crocs.

  9. Brooks

    Fanny being the operative word here.

  10. What the fuck is the deal with those camouflage shorts? Maybe he bought them on the chance he wanted to go to Afghanistan to catch some rays.

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