1. USDA Prime McBeef

    Dude Poison fucking sucks. I’m glad everybody in that band has been dead for years.

  2. I’m pretty sure we can wipe out entire civilizations just by shipping that t-shirt over to them…

  3. RacistPete

    Brooke Hogan’s looking great.

  4. Dutch

    “Oompah!”

  5. Basement Jack

    He shaves his pits ?

  6. diego

    It all makes sense: he’s removing the hair follicles from his armpits and having them transplanted on to the bald patch under his bandana.

  7. poppymoss

    If only he could get bandannas on his balding armpits, too…

  8. You know your career is in the shitter when you’re performing at a ballooning festival.

  9. Contusion

    Every D-list celebrity has it’s thorn.

  10. Johnny P!

    ‘The 30th Annual Quick Chek New Jersey Festival of Ballooning”, eh?
    **snicker!***
    Uh, next stop the ‘Mothers of the Revolution ” Gerogia Peach Pie
    Bake-Off?
    Rock On, Bret!

  11. cc

    The other celebrity appearance was by Punxsutawney Phil

  12. mamamiasweetpeaches

    its a “Ballooning FestivaL” and hes CLEARLY ballooning. Jesus , count all them chins!

  13. Salad Face

    Is there anywhere Bret ISN’T losing hair?

  14. The Brown Streak

    “Miley, your mom’s legs can go this high! How far can yours go?”

  15. tlmck

    “Everybody sing now! All two of you!”

  16. I just am surprised the ex-singer from Cinderella hasn’t snapped and snipered him yet… How has Poison endured?

  17. MRF

    HELLLOOO BUFFAALLOOO MARRIOTT!!!!

  18. Henry

    This is beyond pathetic.

  19. MRF

    After making a joke about how he’s probably playing some podunk middle of nowhere show, I noticed that he’s actually playing at the New Jersey Festival of Ballooning. I think fate should get credit for the caption.

  20. Bionic_Crouton

    Bret Michaels is playing the New Jersey Festival of Ballooning because calling it a “Has been Hoe Down” makes the entertainers feel bad.

  21. Bionic_Crouton

    “Hey New Jersey! Who has a couch I can crash on!”

  22. blah

    ewww hate guys that shave anything other than their head or face
    FUCKING GROSS

  23. bigalkie

    If you’re a pathetic loser and you know it clap your hands!

  24. Emma Watson's Vagina

    “ok people. back off i got B.O. and i know how to use it”

  25. hmm

    Ew, she needs to shave her armpits.

  26. hmm

    what an ugly woman.

  27. JungleRed

    When did Jimmy Buffer start wearing eyeliner? And become a queer?

  28. JungleRed

    “It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…”

  29. whyask

    If you’re a failure and you know it, clap your hands

  30. I’m glad that she was able to beat breast cancer!

  31. Sad

    He had to shave everything below the eyebrows to get rid of the rampant case of pubic lice.

  32. Times like this I’m so glad I put down that fucking guitar at 23.

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