1. Sorry Piven, her lips are clamped tighter than Paltrow’s anus.

  2. “Sorry, I don’t kiss my johns”

  3. So she must be about 5’3″.

  4. Hey, they’re working! My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone dry! Everything’s comin’ up Milhouse!

  5. She’s giving him mouth to mouth because he’s so weak from mercury poisoning.

  6. “You will always remember this as the night you slept with Jeremy Piven: World’s Biggest Star! Now you say it. Please say it. Say I’m a star. Say Jeremy Piven: World’s Biggest Star! No, not Jeremy Renner. Piven. Jeremy Piven: World’s Biggest Star! Yes, I know my goddam cards say Jeremy Renner. Look, just go. Please just go. No, you didn’t sleep with an Avenger. But I am reading for SHIELD Agent #12 in Avengers 2 so, ya know, fingers crossed.”

  7. I think he accidentally put on her pants.

  8. If he wants sushi, that’s wrong hole.

  9. Booberry

    You can barely tell he uses spray on hair for his bald spot.

  10. What the hell is with those poses? I could make two linked Monkeys In A Barrel do this.

  11. His sister isn’t too happy with the on the mouth kiss.

  12. Mannix

    Dude, I think it’s time to get tough with your breath.

  13. That’s one way to get rid of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

  14. In the dark of night she thought this was Jude Law, you know cuz of the pants. Realized in the light of day, this smelly bastard was Piven. Well played Jeremy, well played

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