1. EricLR

    And that is why Lord Xenu is even more powerful than Superman and Lex Luthor combined….

  2. I always wondered whether he used one hand or two.

  3. Batu Khan

    - … now he’s using the two handed technique.
    - I don’t know, Bob. This certainly gets faster results but in the long run it’s more exhausting.
    - You’re right, Jack. If he wants to win he’ll have to pace himself… and now a word from our sponsors. We’ll be right back.

  4. Tom is a giving lover, you’ll never see a Kardashian working the black microphone shaft AND balls.

  5. “Is this a joke? Huh? I ask for a stand up microphone and you give me THIS? This is CLEARLY two feet too short. Who’s in charge here? Someone’s getting their ass audited!”

  6. The Pope

    That thing was chrome two minutes earlier.

  7. Tom, show us your technique.

  8. Some photos don’t need captions. Like this one.

  9. lawn

    “Shit! Who the hell invited him?”

  10. “Tiny Tom? I sleep in tulips? A five-foot flamer? Are you kidding me? I’M HUGE! Look how big I am compared to this mike stand! This mike looks tiny… NOT… ME!!!!!”

  11. “Welcome to Scientology! Leave your email information on the sign in sheet and don’t worry We will not sell your information to third parties unless we are paid really well for them.”

  12. “Once upon a time there was a single, beautiful brunette actress named Katie who met a handsome prince…”

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