1. tlmck

    “I’m sorry Cher, but when it is this thick, it tends too fall off in chunks.”

  2. Geez…Larry David must be really desperate for work these days.

  3. I’ve never seen a caulking sponge before.

  4. Cher is exhausted after the seven hours of make-up necessary to transform her into Cher.

  5. “I bet you wish you could turn back time, bitch.”

  6. I tell ya, back in ’76, Jefferson, Adams, and Franklin all made my top 5 list of best lovers. I even got their signatures tattooed on my ass afterwards.

  7. “I don’t think this is working, Charlie. Break out that Death Becomes Her can of spray paint.”

  8. You know anything about changing a nose? Wanna help me change a nose here? No? I could use a little help. I need a little assistance. I never took a shop class, and I need a little help. Ok, I’m just coming flat out and saying ‘help me.’ Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual change a nose? 25, 30 dollars. 30 dollars to change this nose. 35 dollars to change this nose right now.

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