superficial

  1. “Wow, it’s so realistic! You even made it reek like alcohol!”

  2. Cock Dr

    Very disturbing photo.

  3. I’d eat me. I’d eat me so hard.

  4. he just achieved the ultimate fantasy of having to suck himself off without surgery and a large penis.

  5. Pipedreamer

    This is actually a chart showing the size of his ego on the left as compared to the size of his talent on the right.

  6. I wonder what it would feel like to have a Dreg butt plug inside me.

  7. WilmaMankiller

    He tried out for the Jolly Green Giant but had to settle for the Del Monte Douchbag.

  8. Lynette

    Ladies and Gentlemen…. the HOFSICLE!

  9. CharmlessMan

    We’re going to need a tiny hamburger!

  10. Turd Ferguson

    Lick it.
    LICK IT.

  11. David Hasselhoff unveils the new line of Baywatch Tampons.

  12. KC

    Just like the real thing: ice cold to the touch and nothing below the belt.

  13. Amber

    So they made it realistic, like a Ken doll.

  14. rough text

    Wow! look the Hoff trying the Lee Strasberg of method acting….Im impress!

  15. “Which one of us wants a bottle of Jim Beam? What’s that, we both do? But you haven’t got any hands. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it for you.”

  16. Amominous

    If you look at the negative space between Hoff and his Hoffsticle, you can almost see the music taste of all of his German fans

  17. Doc Schweinstrudel

    It’s been a while since I saw baywatch so please, update…Do both of them have no legs and stand just on a wooden penis?

  18. vlad

    Wonder when the first lawsuit will pop up of someone choking on the Hoff?

  19. Steelerchick

    Bite me!

  20. Brennan Haley

    Big David and Little David always see eye to eye on women.

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