Andrew Dice Clay in Los Angeles. (June 4, 2011)
And not a single fuck was given that day.
Haha! That’s basically what I was thinking. That you for stating it eloquently.
Yeah, “that” is wrong.
Nothing says “Max Muscle Training Gear” like Starbucks and a smoke. Hey, it works for Kirsten Dunst, right?
Who’s his trainer, Britney Spears?
Hey, it’s Ford Fairlame.
Hickory dickory dock, Dice man looks like cock . . .
The clock struck two, he put on black shoes, and sat hisself down on the block…
The Diceman falleth.
Hello? 1990? Please pick up! Oh!
I like how he’s pretending to own a cell phone by holding a cigarette pack to his ear. Yes indeedy, ADC has still got it!
“WaitaminUTE! You’re sayin’ I’m not an Italian? A, a fucking Jew, are YOU KIDDIN’ ME?!”
Damn! So sad Gene Simmons is down on his luck!
Hickory dickory dock, he now sucks dick for rock.
No matter how far he falls, he will NOT give up the Elvis Blue Blockers.
Mr. Dice Clay went out one day
And sat himself down on the block.
He thought with a shock:
“I could suck dick for rock!
But that would make me look totally gay.”
So he put his phone to his ear,
And said with a sneer:
“I’m fuckin’ dyin’ here”.
His agent responded:
“Don’t be so despondent!
Go fucking kill yourself!”
“So if Jeremy Piven passes, they’ll call me next?. . . Then exactly how many before they call me?”
“Yeah, I dropped an application in last week for the womens accessories department, and I was wondering if there….hello?…hello?
“I can’t believe it, even Bababooey is ignoring my calls!”
It’s not often that you see Elton John not all dressed up, but at least he kept his trademark glasses on.
Andrew Dice Hairplugs
I always thought it was funny when women would flash him during his shows and he responded, “What? You think I ain’t never seen tits before?” He still does see tits, except now it’s when he looks in the mirror.
A word for all you aspiring comics out there: once your career tanks, there’s always the opportunity to be a fat, bald, depressed Elvis impersonator. Keep reaching for that rainbow!
Commenting as a Guest
Sign in or Join.