superficial

  1. “Which button adds the explosions?”

  2. …in related thinking, Instagram should totally do a Michael Bay explosions filter.

  3. “Megan, could you get out of the picture please?”

  4. What’s he filming? Is there a Transformer exploding all over some hot girl’s cleavage?!

  5. “So, which button allows me too record again? Oh, thanks! Maybe some day I’ll get the hang of making filming something.”

  6. anonymous

    It’s good that it’s not a Samsung. Otherwise, he’d freeze, forget what he was going to say, then walk off the stage.

  7. Voice of Reisling

    Man owns a group shower in his Miami house. Like a mini-Auschwitz.

  8. JimBB

    “…and then he tells me that all I have to do is drink this and I’ll have real directing talent. But I figure, fuck that! I saw Angel Heart. So no way am I trusting that guy. And besides, who needs talent anyway?”

  9. Hank E. Ring

    I squish yer boob!

  10. For those women who can’t tell Michael Bay from Michael Bolton, he shows them his online bank balance.

  11. Totally thought Michael Bolton had a nose job… they must be from the same Pod…

  12. “Know what I’ve got in here? Now don’t laugh, everyone…I have Shia LaPoof’s balls.”

  13. “Albino Midget Porn” would like to send you push notifications…

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