1. The dean will do anything to try and make Jeff Winger jealous.

  2. “I thought the goal was to make my waist smaller, not my belt bigger.”
    “Shut up and keep stretching it, Shamu.”

  3. “Look at it!”
    “No”
    “Look at it or you’re not getting paid!”
    “No”

  4. I thought the whole point of hiring a trainer was so you didn’t have to do this ridiculous shit in public?

  5. I think I’d be looking for a new trainer…one whose “gym” isn’t a sidewalk

  6. Aaaaand this one is for all you ladies who ever rubbed on off to McSteamy.

  7. “C’mon, Dane, put some effort into it because the sooner you get that inner tube stretched out, the sooner we can put it back in your bike tire so you can get back to some real exercise.”

  8. That is the closest he is ever going to get to Rebecca Gayheart.

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