Did I forget to turn off the oven? Hmmm Oh right, that’s for common folk.
“Wife, you say? What wife? Ladies, I assure you I’m not married, much less to a pregnant woman! Now, let us adjourn to the stables, and I’ll show you how I put the bald in ribald.”
But you gotta admit, royalty AND rich is a pretty good pussy magnet.
A billion dollars and heir to a monarchy. Your move, Hair Club for Men.
“Hmm. I thinking of how many ways Cate could have me killed for this.”
Always difficult to figure out which horse you want to ride…
“I’ve made a terrible mistake…”
Dude needs to get himself a Tom Cruise/John Travolta wig or something.
“Let’s see…Kate’s due on July 13, so nine months earlier would have been in the middle of October…wait a minute. Wasn’t I out of town that week?”
I’m tired of going over the hump Pips, meet me behind tent 2 in 5.
“Um…I’m going to guess that your knickers are white and lacy, am I right?” Doesn’t matter. Come into the tent so we can have a look!”
I say instead of the same old toupe he should get the Hair Club For Men to give him “the Wolverine”. Just to shake things up a bit.. If you’ve gotta have your pubes transplanted to your head keep it interesting.
Hm…should I eat Italian or French tonight?
“Why yes, I’ll let you have some Finger (cough) Prince.”
“Let me get this straight…the player rides the horse and NOT vice versa? Then they riun around trying to hit a ball with a long mallet? And it’s NOT golf?”
Let’s see, do I bang the pale one with the bad teeth or the other pale one with the bad teeth?
“I totally understand Harry’s Vegas jaunt now. He’s the wiser of us two.”
“Hmmm…Naked Ping Pong, drunk by the pool? Oh wait dear, that’s my brother you were with, not me.”
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