1. Steven, yes… Can you please stop calling my private line offering me martial arts lessons?
    And no, I will not bring Chili’s to Russia.

  2. I will give Mr. Kraft his Super Bowl ring back for…ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

  3. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    The face of modern Russia: more than appropriate it isn’t pretty.

  4. Mike1

    Vood you liek fries wit dat?

  5. Looks like Madame Tussaud went and repurposed Melanie Griffith.

  6. Damnrobert

    I can’t figure out if he looks more like Edward Scissorhands or PeeWee Herman…

  7. Swearin

    “Yes, Lord Tywin, I stabbed the Young Wolf right through the heart…uh huh, I see. Warden of the North, huh? Okay, but can we still flay our enemies?”


    If Bob Newhart had a psychopath for a brother. Also that’s an interesting jacket. Gray with blue cuffs must be a Russia thing.

  9. tlmck

    “I expect you to die Mr. Bond.”

  10. “Opulence. I has it. But I also like savings the money.”

  11. The Brown Streak

    Time spent at conference: 10% on world policies, 90% Kim Kardashian’s baby updates. The world will get nuked.

  12. Vlad to Obama: I vill break you

  13. “Thank you for calling AT&T customer service.My name is Vladimir. How may I help you?”

  14. Jim

    I deed not steal reeng. Fat, pale American say, “here see ring.” So I put ring in pocket for to later look at. Then I show American dagger with still some blood on it. He say to me for , “just keep ring.” I keep. He is veddy nice man.

  15. He has the face of a smacked arse.

  16. Phil

    It’s back to the drawing board, Poindexter.

  17. “Can you hear me now?”

  18. Rrrrrring?…What rrrring is this that you speak of? In mother rrrrusssia we have no – what you call – this super bowl. What is this? Some kind of large soup tub?

  19. Pine Table Fever

    So a horse walks into a bar and Vladimir Putin is sitting there, the horse asks ‘…hey Vladimir: why the vacant, expressionless, cosmetically-altered, plastic face; you paranoid and dictatorial ex-KGB fuckhole?’

  20. Sorry guys, I’d still take him over 90% of you.

    Le pounce.

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