Steven, yes… Can you please stop calling my private line offering me martial arts lessons?
And no, I will not bring Chili’s to Russia.
I will give Mr. Kraft his Super Bowl ring back for…ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
The face of modern Russia: more than appropriate it isn’t pretty.
Vood you liek fries wit dat?
This is Vladimir Putin, not Arnold S.
Looks like Madame Tussaud went and repurposed Melanie Griffith.
I can’t figure out if he looks more like Edward Scissorhands or PeeWee Herman…
“Yes, Lord Tywin, I stabbed the Young Wolf right through the heart…uh huh, I see. Warden of the North, huh? Okay, but can we still flay our enemies?”
If Bob Newhart had a psychopath for a brother. Also that’s an interesting jacket. Gray with blue cuffs must be a Russia thing.
“I expect you to die Mr. Bond.”
“Opulence. I has it. But I also like savings the money.”
Time spent at conference: 10% on world policies, 90% Kim Kardashian’s baby updates. The world will get nuked.
Vlad to Obama: I vill break you
“Thank you for calling AT&T customer service.My name is Vladimir. How may I help you?”
I deed not steal reeng. Fat, pale American say, “here see ring.” So I put ring in pocket for to later look at. Then I show American dagger with still some blood on it. He say to me for , “just keep ring.” I keep. He is veddy nice man.
He has the face of a smacked arse.
It’s back to the drawing board, Poindexter.
“Can you hear me now?”
Rrrrrring?…What rrrring is this that you speak of? In mother rrrrusssia we have no – what you call – this super bowl. What is this? Some kind of large soup tub?
So a horse walks into a bar and Vladimir Putin is sitting there, the horse asks ‘…hey Vladimir: why the vacant, expressionless, cosmetically-altered, plastic face; you paranoid and dictatorial ex-KGB fuckhole?’
Sorry guys, I’d still take him over 90% of you.
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Vladimir Putin at a press conference in London. (June 16, 2013) -Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
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