1. Abby Normal

    There is nothing quite like that sense of anticipation preceding a big sloppy wet kiss from Cracker-Jack Jesus. Well, maybe food poisoning.

  2. it had to be said

    “Oh shit, this dude’s about to kiss me.”

  3. “I’m changing my name to Jack Mehoff. Are you interested?”

  4. Smapdi

    The fetid stench from Brand’s armpit is no doubt bad enough, but to have his moist garlicky breath assault you at the same time . . .

  5. Minky Wail

    “I’m tellin’ ya, it was a right brilliant move. Did you see that snap of her arse from outside Cirque Du Soir?”

  6. Notice how Russell’s scarf matches the other guy’s collar liner. These two were made for each other, I tell ya.

  7. MarkM

    “And I told Head and Shoulders they could kiss me freakin’ arse! I ain’t washing my hair every year just to sell their freakin’ shampoo!”

  8. Cock Dr

    This is a private moment. We shouldn’t intrude.

  9. Bonky

    Please tell me he just got out of the shower and that is not how his hair is normally.

  10. The Brown Streak

    “Tonight, let’s pretend your first name is Tom. Okay?”

  11. cc

    Russell, I am going to eat your face.

  12. Buddy The Elf

    God I hate Close-Talkers.

  13. Bigalkie


  14. my god he’s hairier than Cat Stevens

  15. “Of course her tits are bigger than yours, but you have the suave and personality to make up for it, plus I rather fancy your arse.”

  16. dontlooknow

    I AM going to kiss you….

  17. YoMamma

    “Can you get ahole of a wheelchair for the evening?”

  18. EricLr

    Pictured moments before Criss Angel challenged him to a douche-off.

  19. Russell Brand is hairier than Chewbacca on Rogaine.

  20. FattyMcGee

    “But, that’s the beauty of it, mate. When you put your penis in my mouth it’ll feel like you’re fucking an old-school vagina, 70′s style. AND… I get enough money to buy some more meth. It’s win/win!!”

  21. Baby, you’re a firework. Show me how your colors work. Or just a handie will suffice.

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