I may be drunk, Madam, but in the morning I will be sober. You’ll still be ugly.

Let’s play spot the black guy that was thoroughly unimpressed with the spiderman franchise.

I thought the Kids in the Hall died out years ago.

That fucking hairstyle was in when I was in university. Now all the needs is a LaCoste sweater, Polo cologne, and some frat brothers.

“…so I tells him to take his goddamn “Spiderman” franchise and shove it up his ass…boy, did I fuck up.”

you know your life is pathetic because he is still happy he got payed to grop Kirsten Dunst.

Fix your tie, you fucking schmuck.

“Heyyyyy Tommy…”

Heyyyy…who has two thumbs and used to be a star?

Evander Holyfield in the cheap seats?

“Maguire! Sort yourself out! These cars won’t park themselves!’

And no one at the “Spider-Man” premier had the heart to break it to Tobey.

No worries everyone – Spiderman is here!
………