1. Raoul

    “I … I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you … did you just call me a ‘dirty hippy’?”

  2. Anthony

    I hate close talkers.

  3. USDA Prime McBeef

    He’s being held up because he contains way more than 3 fluid ounces of douche water.

  4. Frank The Duck

    “I was not always as you see me now. Can you spare a dollar?”

  5. Justin

    “You pull any of that barroom shit with me boy and I’ll kick your ass from here to Poughkeepsie.”

  6. YoMamma

    “Yes, I do intend to change my shoes mid-way thru the flight. Mr. Rogers style.”

  7. Patch

    Bitch, you wanna go?!

  8. “Are you going to take off your shoes for security or Dame Judy Dench going to have to stab a bitch with her pen?”

  9. Frank Burns

    “Hipster douchebag seating is to the left, sir.”

  10. cc

    Excuse me but if you don’t mind my asking…do I look at all familiar to you?

  11. Jill

    I was about to say he looked less douchey than normal, then I scrolled down and saw the skinny jeans,

  12. “I said, I want my six dollars back for that Indiana Jones horse-hockey.”

  13. In which he suddenly realizes the answer to “douchebag says what” is indeed, “what.”

  14. CBN

    “you look like a young gerard butler”

    “that wasn’t a compliment”

  15. EricLr

    $100 says there are human remains in that backpack.

  16. Bigalkie

    Who you calling gaylord? I’m 23-0 against septuagenarians!

  17. The Brown Streak

    Oh, that Judi Dench is such a prankster. She got Shia with the “sphincter says what” joke…again.

  18. Swearin

    Oh, so you’re saying a viewing of my film “Holes” will get Carol Ann out of the netherworld?

  19. disillusionisreal

    Sphincter says what?

  20. CK

    Is that M from the Bond movies?

  21. Are these the auditions to A Chorus Line? Because I have my shoes and I’m already wearing a dance belt.

  22. Mike701

    How much with the teeth out?

  23. “Lady, I don’t give a fuck if it IS your coffee. You set it down, and I have it now. Finders keepers, losers weepers…”

  24. catapostrophe

    “You got a fucking problem, grandma?”

  25. Hobo Jo

    Pssst lady I need to sneak something onto the plane how full is your butt? cause mines full once my heads up there.

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