1. “Have you seen my Antonio? We came to the airport together and in his dreamy Spanish accent I thought he he said he had to go to the can….with Sly…but I don’t know what that means. Anyway, I’ve been waiting here by the rest room for over an hour and he seems to have left without me seeing him. Have you seen my Antonio?”

  2. The FAA lets travelers take up to 10 ounces of liquid on airplanes now…as long as it’s on your face.

  3. They misspelled “Mickey Rourke.”

  4. “EVERYBODY RUN…she’s escaped!”

  5. “SALT !!!”

  6. renotastic

    Paz de la Huerta called. She wants her shine back.

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