1. I wonder what would happen if I walked around like that. Like it was the fucking 70s with my shirt unbuttoned to my navel. I’ll tell you what…lot’s of pussy!

  2. catapostrophe

    Reached behind his seat and snatched a Kool from the pack.

  3. Cock Dr

    For anyone feeling a little oversexed right now….a little hot n bothered with no relief in sight, just take a peek down the shirt. You’ll cool right down.

  4. metoo

    Rain Man’s counting cigarettes…

  5. what a fucking douche bag.

  6. His hairy side (man)boob is nasty but I suspect more than a few that come to this site would still love to hit it anyway. ;)

  7. EricLr

    pssstt…we really don’t.

  8. BlackAndWhite.Minstrel

    The inexplicable smugness of a man who turns dogs in to stars. Prepare to be dry humped, America!

  9. After seeing Christina Hendricks showed up, Simon opened up his shirt to let the puppies play.

  10. Johnny P!

    I hope this doesn’t happen to Christina Hendricks’ cleavage when she goes through menopause.

  11. Why do his shirts even bother with buttons?

  12. DeucePickle

    “Look at the size of that noggin. It’s like an orange on a toothpick.”
    “Let him cry himself to sleep on his huge pilla”

  13. Can you imagine the size of the balls on this douche? As he looks in the mirror- “Who’s your daddy? I’M your fuckin’ daddy.”

  14. Your tongue, My balls.

    This bloke has his Doctorate in Douche.

  15. Crissy

    OMG! He’s sniffing glue again!… Only way to explain anybody wearing their shirt like this!

    • kimmykimkim

      Second explanation: Cocaine! Which would also explain the Kools. And the misplaced ego. And the diarrhea.

  16. Little Tongue

    No nip slip? Dang!

  17. Haddo01

    He couldn’t pull a Britney, so he went with this.

  18. Amy

    Nothing like seeing a shirtless 60yo never-has-been to get my nether-region to wishin’ those last three buttons would lighten their grasp.

  19. “If ya want my money, and you think I’m sexy, rub my nipples nice and slow!”

  20. Joaquin ingles

    “Oh yeah, Hasslehoff? Check THESE out, bitch.”

  21. What a smug prick. How about we get him and “the Hoff” to do a gladiator fight to the death on Pay-per-View…and then shoot the one who wins!

  22. browny

    SHOW US YOUR TITS, SIMON. COME ON, we’ve all seen your manboobs… c’mon

  23. Crispy Anus

    Jesus Christ. That is a huge head.

  24. Shitz

    I bet he goes home and jerks it while standing over a mirror, staring in between his own wooly, thatched cheeks.

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