There’s always a Samoan women saying everything with her expression in the background.

Many years ago, when he was introduced to the world in “Dead Calm”, he was hailed as ‘The New Brando’.
Looks like the world has moved on, and he hasn’t.
His daughter will buy the story though, so that’s kinda sweet…

I offer you one last chance, return my career or I’ll eat this baby!

“Yes, I am aware my baby daughter has a full-grown adult arm growing out of her ass. It’s okay. It’s just a tumor.”

You should listen to your father Billy Zane. He’s a good guy. He’s trying to keep you out of trouble.

Well, DiCaprio banged the fat girl in the car, but then he died – Zane lived on…dat poon wasn’t worth dying over…

“Look at us, my little darling…we are clearly the most fashionable father-with-adopted-daughter duo in all the world!”

Billy was later disqualified when they found out it was not a midget.

“you see all these theaters my dear? Not one of the eleven movies I was in last year played in any of them!”

I like Billy Zane, I hope he makes a comeback.

“Unbeknownst to each other, both are enthralled by Kelly Brook’s breasts as she passes by. One briefly relives past glory, while the other considers options for lunch…”

“Mr. Savalas that isn’t a lolipop !”

Now that is a cute baby kid.

“I don’t see the nanny either. But I feel like she’s glaring a hole into the back of my head, and someone’s staring a hole in my ass.”

Even his daughter is scared of Billy Zane.

His face has always looked like the prototype for the ‘Splice’ monsters.