superficial

  1. At a restaurant, you autograph the menu. At a bathhouse, the towel.

  2. Indiana Jones,”Short Round where the fuck are you?”

  3. Jeremy

    “So basically, you take a white sheet like this and you cut a hole in it at crotch level. Then you just put it up in your entrance, leave the door unlocked, get down on your knees and wait for the magic to happen.”

  4. ThisWillHurt

    “Uh, Mr. Cruise . . . What you’ve got there, it’s . . . uh, it’s not a dumpling.”
    “I know, just enjoy it.”

  5. B&WMinstrel

    He’s big in China

  6. Cock Dr

    Tom Cruise is smiling because in Taipei they really know how to handle a man’s dumplings.

  7. Inner Retard

    First, you pound it into submission with your hands, then you take out your long wood shaft and work it until it’s as flat as this table… What? Dumplings?! I thought you were talking about my ass.

  8. whatthe

    Is that Vince Masuka on the right?

  9. Din Tai Fung is one of my favorite restaurants, even though Tom Cruise is trying his very best to ruin it for me and everyone else now …

  10. catapostrophe

    Quick question: Why does this Web site no longer function properly?

    And a follow-up: Is anyone going to bother to fix it?

  11. Bennigans

    How many of those rice steamers is he standing on??

    • Bennigans

      also, I think the website is broken…I keep clicking “view full size” and the picture stays the same

  12. Isn’t this how the viral outbreak in Contagion began?

  13. Brit

    That stool gives you considerable height, Mr. Cruise.
    I know, stop staring and drawing attention to it.

  14. Juan Diablo

    It’s cute how he puts a little heart above the “i”.

  15. Tom Cruise is as happy as a pup with two tails because for once in his life he won the size comparison.

  16. How much is the food at that restaurant that this tightwad signs an apron to pay for his food instead of giving them money?

  17. gotta keep an eye on his other hand…you never know where it might end up

  18. AHAHA! For a second or two, I was honestly puzzled over what appeared to be ‘Homo Cruise’ scrawled on his apron, figured it must be a joke, and laughed pretty hard! Then I realized it was his signature, and laughed harder.

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