What a true friend Leo is… Picking up formaldehyde for Jonah? no problem…
“The best smell to keep fat assholes away from you, sir? Uh, well, I supposed I would recommend our new Roasted Vegetable Garden scent.”
“so you say this will render supermodels unconscious?”
“100% skunk juice? Hmmmm…maybe if I bathed in this it would keep Jonah’s lips off of my ass for an hour or two.”
I need something that will knock Jonah out long enough while I change my address, phone number, name, and get facial reconstruction surgery.
Oh, this is the same one January Jones used on her son? I’ll take 3 bottles.
“Spanish Fly? I thought they just called the stuff Leo now. Haha. Get it? Oh me…well, I’m off.”
“Hmmm, maybe a movie where I play a drunk abusive father who accidentally kills a fat boy by running him over with my car one night will finally win me my Oscar….”
Huh, only 80%. Not enough for a roofy…
“Hrmm.. one bottle… for eighty people.. about 6000 Academy voters… Hmm? Oh, just browsing!”
“Hmmmmm, “Dr. Shatner’s Chest Hair Tonic and Over-Acting Enhancer”. I’ll take 30 bottles please.”
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Leonardo DiCaprio at the Beverly Hills Farmer's Market. (April 6, 2014) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN