1. “Here, girlie, girlie, girlie … here, girlie, girlie, girlie!”

  2. ThisWillHurt

    “500? C’mon, one of you would surely do it for 500! OK, 600? Really? I was a big deal in the 90s!”

  3. JimBB

    And now to read Dr. Seuss’ new book “The Ass in the Ascot”…

  4. Veronika Larsson

    What’s with the cash in hand? I thought David’s “dates” liked their, uh, “expense money” passed to them discreetly in unmarked envelopes?

  5. But even the invisible hooker refused to take his cash.

  6. I wear women's shoes

    Leaving a trail of bills a la Hansel and Gretel to attract skanks and Courtney Stodden to his trailer. (Not a movie trailer, the one hes renting in that shitty mobile home park down the way from the HUD housing and 7-11.

  7. “Really”, “seriously”, “you’re walking away from all this!?”

  8. …Gayvid Thpade.

  9. Fingergod

    “No, sorry, I’m not Ricky Gervais but I can still give my autograph. What dot you mean “no thanks”?! I used to be on Saturday Night Live! What do you mean “you already knew that”?! Ah come on, I’ll give you a dollar!”

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